vore, shizoaffective, oral fixation, and autophagia comorbidity thoughts
I think a lot of my fascination with vore stems from a few specific symptoms of my schizoaffective disorder.
Unlike schizophrenia my mood disorder is characterized less by paranoia symptoms and more by my disorder's bipolar subtype. (fyi there are two types of schizoaffective, depressive subtype and bipolar subtype.)
One symptom shizophrenia and schizoaffective tend to share is autophagia- the urge to self devour. A lot of folx who have autophagia may find themselves coping like I do, by way of oral fixation. Whether it's chewing objects, smoking, eating, or even just sucking on things frequently most people with autophagia I've noticed absolutely need their fix of choice to maintain stability.
If my mouth is moving and I'm masticating in any capacity I am almost always perfectly fine. At least, until anyone makes me feel like my chew focus is threatened or being taken away.
Whenever I am removed from my ability to chew it manifests in my stress reactions to the world around around me and my autophagia gets hyper boosted by panic.
I literally will bite people over stressing me out or preventing me from meeting basic needs; I have explained this repeatedly, dead serious, and I'm so exhausted of people going "haha great joke ur funny." No it isn't, I'm fucking ILL! It's not a choice and it isn't cutesy- it's a personal hell for me.
So I have to make it cute, intimate even, and absolute fantasy because otherwise I am a monster and I'm well fucking aware.
The ironic bit is that I never realized I was showing signs of autophagia until late into my vore fascination.
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